When we dam the flow of creative energy
Sometimes it feels like the noise in my head is overwhelming.
Thoughts coming at a thousand miles per hour.
When I try to read a book, the thoughts are there.
When I go to sleep, they're there.
When I wake up in the middle of the night, they're there.
I'm not talking about negative thoughts.
I'm talking about ideas.
Solutions (to problems that may or may not exist.)
Not all the time. In spurts.
Every few months, there's a week of this loud energy.
I used to think it was a curse.
Sometimes I've wondered if it's caused by something I ate.
Now I've come to realize that it's caused by some sort of energy blockage in my mind.
It comes when I've tamped down uncomfortable ideas in favor of comfortable security.
It comes when I've not acted upon a new creation.
It comes when I've spent a few weeks in a state of controlled steadiness instead of allowing a state of creative spontaneity.
Instead of fighting it, I've learned to let go. Because fighting it is usually why there's a blockage in the first place.
When I let go; when I surrender to the energy, it often unblocks itself.
The result is often a surge of creative action that comes spilling over the dam of rigidity I allowed to be built by my attempt at too much order.
This very blog post is part of my (non) effort at surrender.
This blog post is part of my intentional awareness of the noise.
This blog post is part of my realization that I need to harness the flow of this creative energy, rather than try to dam it and block it.
It's also part of the realization that whatever creations come out of this in the coming days or weeks, I don't have to worry whether or not they will be "successful."
As the author Joseph Chilton Pearce once wrote:
“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.”
It is that fear that creates the blockages.
And it's love that will allow the dam to burst and the creativity to flow.